


Love You Anyhow

by RaeVan87



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Sorry, This wasn't supposed to be this sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 07:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7035646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeVan87/pseuds/RaeVan87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benny finds reader injured after a hunt only for her to discover that he is a vampire. After bandaging her up and making her breakfast, the two realize they aren’t so different after all. But love and a hunter’s life aren’t exactly a good combination.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love You Anyhow

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: “Please, point your gun at me if it helps you relax.” - Written for the SPN Hiatus Writing Challenge

Title: Love You Anyhow

Pairing: Benny x Reader

Words: 3,655

Summary: Benny finds reader injured after a hunt only for her to discover that he is a vampire. After bandaging her up and making her breakfast, the two realize they aren't so different after all. But love and a hunter's life aren't exactly a good combination.

Prompt: “Please, point your gun at me if it helps you relax.”

Warnings: Reader is had some bad injuries. Sad themes. Suggested character death.

A/N: This broke my heart to write... Sorry. </3

  
  


_“I'm never going to know you now_

_But I'm going to love you anyhow”_

\- Waltz #2, Elliott Smith

 

**Love You Anyhow**

 

You swayed on your feet, feeling both dizzy and numb before your body sagged to the floor. Your legs had given up trying to support you and let you crumple down in a heap among the bodies you'd left scattered there. Blood was seeping through several wounds, particularly a deep gash on the side of your stomach and you couldn't be certain that there were no broken bones. Chest heaving with exertion, you tried to drag yourself from the barn and back to your car where you had a first aid kit.

“I thought I heard some commotion in here” a deep Southern drawl announced from the doorway.

Feeling panicked you reached for your gun, the fatigue and blood loss weighed heavily on you and made the actions stiff and laboured. The figure ran towards you regardless, dropping down beside you and hesitating before touching you.

“Hang in there, Sug. Let me help you help” they said before slowly helping you to your feet.

Stars danced before your eyes as you stood, leaning heavily against the man that was supporting you. Whether he didn't notice the bodies littered around you or chose to ignore them you couldn't be sure, but you were grateful for the help regardless.

“Just... get me to my car... please” you wheeze as you limp through the doorway and out into the cool night air. The chill catches all the place on your body that are sticky and wet with blood and you shudder, wondering if perhaps you were a little worse off than you originally thought.

The man chuckled lightly, “Darlin', I don't think you're in any state to be driving. If you'll permit it, let me help you and we'll come back for your car when you're on the mend.”

Blinking hard you tried to chase the static that was slowly overtaking your vision and you merely nodded as he half carried you to his car. He eased you down into the passenger seat before jogging around to the other side and hopping in. He fired up the ignition and tore off away from the hunt that nearly killed you. You'd never been so happy to put a hunt far behind you in your life.

You leaned your head against the window, staring out into the night as the car sped down the road and you could feel your eyelids drooping.

“No, no, no. No fallin' asleep now!” the man warned, rolling down his window slightly to get a breeze in the car. “Talk to me. You gotta keep yourself awake. You hear me? What's your name?”

“Y/N” you mumble, trying to sit up a little. You wanted nothing more than to close your eyes and drift off to sleep, but judging by the alarm in his tone, you assumed it wasn't just sleep that was tempting you.

“I'm Benny” he replied, picking up your limp hand to give it a small shake.

You made your best effort to turn and look at him. The dim lighting in the car made his details blurred but with each passing street light you were able to discern more and more. Even sitting down you could tell he was a broad man and built like a brick house. His beard did nothing to hide the strong jaw beneath it and his kind eyes seemed almost out of place with his rugged features.

“Thank you” you sighed, wrapping a hand around your body to cover the wound on your stomach.

“Nah, don't mention it” he said with a smile.

Pulling your hand away from your stomach, you made the mistake of glancing down. Your fingers were slick with a coating of blood and your shirt was soaked through enough that you were leaking onto the car seat.

“Oh... damn... I'm sorry. I got blood all over you car” you mumbled stupidly as your head spins.

You can see Benny hesitantly look over at you, eyes slowly meandering down to your hand and the seeping wound. A flash of something in his mouth catches your attention and in the glare of the next street light you can see the clear outline of fangs.

“Son of a bitch!” you shout, turning to try and kick him as you pulled the handle of the door. The door swung open and you tucked and rolled as best as you could, hitting the ground hard as Benny slammed on the breaks. Your body rolled a few times down into the ditch before you finally stopped and scrambled to try and get to your feet. Benny was in front of you before you could even stand.

“Get away from me! I'm not going to be some easy meal for you!” you spat, staggering backwards up the bank of the ditch and back to the road.

“Calm down, calm down. It ain't like that!” Benny defended, holding up his hands as if to try and prove his innocence.

“What do you take me for? An idiot?” you exclaim, wavering from side to side. You felt around your waistband for your gun but it wasn't there. The edges of your vision dimmed and your stomach rolled with nausea. Benny had your gun in hand and you froze, but he merely tossed it towards you.

“Please, point your gun at me if it helps you relax” he says calmly, gesturing for you to pick it up.

The ground seemed awfully far away and instead you stood rooted in place.

“Would you have let me help you if you knew what I was?” he asked simply, coming towards you with small steps.

Not having a chance to answer the darkness swallowed you and dragged you down. You were unconscious before you hit the pavement.

 

~ * ~ * ~

 

The smell of bacon frying woke you, stirring your senses back to life and making your stomach grumble. A parched, dry feeling clung in your throat and your mouth tasted stale as you licked your lips, trying without avail to moisten them.

A gentle crooning of a familiar tune sounded from the other room as you fluttered your eyes open, blinking hard to try and clear your vision. The room around you was strange and of very modest means. The bed was overly soft, though in your bruised and battered state you were grateful for the comfort as it hugged your body. Sitting up was difficult and you were quickly reminded of your injury as you felt the familiar tug of stitches. Glancing down you ran a hand over the bandage that concealed the wound, which brought reality crashing back around you.

Benny was a vampire. Why had he bothered to save you and patch you up?

Tentatively you swung your feet out of the bed, testing their steadiness before putting all your weight on them. The first few steps were shaky but you gradually got your bearings and padded your way towards the delicious smell, peaking your head through the doorway.

Benny was in the kitchen wearing an apron and humming along to the Creedence Clearwater Revival version of 'Proud Mary' on the radio. His back was facing you as he busied himself cooking but he cocked his head to the side upon hearing the squeaking floorboards.

“I was wonderin' when you'd be mobile” he said, though his attention was still focused on the stove.

“How long was I out?” you asked, seating yourself at the small island that was facing the kitchen. The whole scene was surreal, a vampire in an apron making breakfast and singing along to the radio. It wasn't the kind of thing you were used to.

“Hm, 'bout a day and half give or take” he replied, sliding some bacon onto a plate of eggs. He turned to you with a smile on his face and put the food down in front of you.

“Never had a vampire make me breakfast” you say coolly, glancing at the food with no small amount of suspicion.

Benny only smirked like he found you amusing, gesturing for you to eat as he turned back to clean up the dishes. Not eating the food wasn't an option as your stomach growled violently for you to feed it. The bacon was just as you liked and you picked up a piece to taste it, revelling in the savoury flavor on your tongue.

“So, what's this domestic vampire shtick you got going on here?” you ask as you tuck into the rest of your breakfast.

Benny put down the plate he was washing and bowed his head slightly, his broad shoulders slouching. “Not all of us want to be monsters” he murmured, pausing a moment before continuing the dishes.

This sort of situation was new to you and you were having trouble understanding it. “I'm sorry...” you say after a brief hesitation. “I should be a lot more grateful. I'd probably be dead in that barn if it wasn't for you saving me. Thank you.”

He looked over his shoulder at you, smiling widely and nodding his head like those words meant the world to him. You smiled back at him, feeling like you should say more but the words just weren't coming to you.

“So where does a vampire learn to cook eggs like this? These are amazing!” you say to cut through the silence as you help yourself to another fork full.

The laugh that resonates from deep in his chest warms you in a way you'd long since forgotten and just like that any reservations you'd had about him melted away into a sense of comfort and ease.

 

\------------------------

 

A handful of weeks had passed since then and every day you were grateful that he'd happened upon you. You'd decided to stick around and you found the two of you made a pretty good team when it came to hunting. He seemed to read your movements before you'd made them and you flowed together seamlessly.

After an evening of hunting werewolves the two of you lay out on the hood of Benny's car staring up at the sky and drinking a few beers. It had become a favourite pass time for both of you and you'd often sit silently in each others company until the sun started peaking out from the edge of the horizon.

“We work pretty well together, don't we?” he commented, taking a long draw of his beer as he stretched his free hand up behind his head.

“It's mostly because I'm so awesome” you teased, elbowing him playfully.

“That you are, darlin'. That you are” he placated with a grin. His grin slid away and he took a deep breath before sitting up.

“What's wrong?” you questioned, quirking an eyebrow at him.

He rubbed his bearded chin a few times, looking uncharacteristically nervous as he glanced down at you.

“About us... you think... Aw hell, I'm not great at this...” he started and you felt your heart squeeze painfully in your chest.

“You think the two of us could ever be more than just... hunting partners?” he asked, the wounded puppy-dog look passing over his eyes.

You took a quick sip of your beer, feeling a deep sadness stirring inside you. Truth be told you wanted something more with Benny. The pair of you were like two halves to a whole and life with him was so easy. After your very rocky introduction you had become almost inseparable. Though it was never formally decided you'd move in with him, sleeping on his couch after declining profusely his offers to give up his bed. You'd shared in household chores and spent every moment of your free time together. You knew you both felt it, that desire to cross the line from friendship into relationship, but neither of you dared to get too close.

“Nah, it was a stupid idea... forget it” he backpedalled with a sad laugh as he noticed your hesitation. He lay back down against the windshield and stared up at the sky.

“I would like nothing more than to be able to do that, Benny...” you began, struggling to keep your voice even.

“I feel a 'but' comin' on” he added, keeping his gaze turned up to the stars.

“I promised myself I would never get into anything serious while I was a hunter... There's too much to much at risk and I wouldn't be able to handle losing you” you said honestly, turning on your side to look at him.

The moon did glorious things to his face. It lit up his eyes like they had their own stars inside them. It traced the contours of his face and highlighted his features, giving him an almost ethereal glow.

He turned towards you, eyes searching yours with a silent plea, “Then why don't we give it up, Sug? You and me going cold turkey together. The world has other hunters, it doesn't need us to clean up the mess anymore...”

He said the words that you'd been thinking a hundred times a day for the awhile now. Why couldn't you just give it up? Stop risking your life and start living it the way you wanted?

The hopefulness in his eyes as he stared at your was the final shove that you needed. You smile at him, nodding slightly to let him know that was what you wanted.

“But... I have some loose ends that I need to tie up... I can't just quit cold turkey” you said quickly.

Benny had already hopped off the car and scooped you up into his arms, hugging you tightly to his chest.

“Cher, take all the time you need. I will be right here waitin' for you” he smiled, looking happier than you'd ever seen him.

“No... I want to set a time. Give me a month. Exactly one month from today, at this time, meet me right back here and we'll do this. We can start our lives as normal people... well... as normal as a vampire/human couple can be, and we'll leave all this behind...” A feeling of elation bubbled up in your stomach as you wrapped your arms around his neck and he spun you around.

He stared into your eyes, setting you back on your feet but not releasing his hold on you. “Would you do me the honour of granting me just one kiss to tide me over until we meet again?” he asked sweetly with a sideways smile.

Looking back up at him you ease up onto your tiptoes, bringing your face to his as you wrapped your arms around his strong shoulders. Your lips touched his, gently at first, brushing over them and enjoying how they felt against yours. He sighed as he folded you into his arms, closing eyes lightly and following your lead.

You fingers trailed up the back of his neck into the short brush of hair on the back of his head, pressing him to you as you kissed a little more forcefully. He responded in spades, picking you up to seat you back on the hood of his car. Even as he kissed you he was unable to keep the smile off his face.

When you reluctantly pulled away you could see a small sadness in his eyes that you knew was mirrored back in your own. Being apart from him for a month was going to be hard, but there were things that you needed to do on your own before you gave up hunting and you wanted to have a clean start with Benny.

“I sure am going to miss you, Sug” he smiled, leaning his forehead against yours.

“I'm going to miss you too, Benny. But don't worry, this month is going to fly by and I'll be back before you know it” you smile at him though you can feel the tears stinging your eyes and threatening to fall.

“Then let's not be sad and enjoy our last night together for awhile” he said in a low gruff voice, one indicative of his own struggle to keep his tears at bay.

You both settled back into your usual spots on the hood of the car, resting against the windshield and admiring the sky as it slowly turned from night into day. The only thing to make this different than any other time you sat here was that he slowly drifted his hand across the space between you to lace his fingers through yours, pressing your palms together with a soft squeeze.

 

\--------------------

 

Not a day went by that your thoughts weren't preoccupied with images of Benny. The month you were apart you'd discovered just how much he meant to you and you could hardly wait to see him again, driving out to your favourite spot hours before you were supposed to meet him. He'd been considerate and gave you your space, not calling or visiting, not that he knew where you were. You were grateful for that time apart, to bury your old life and leave it behind if only so you could start a new one when you got back to him.

The sun had just begun to set and you sat up on the hood of your car, glancing at your phone every so often with the thought of calling Benny. You'd managed to hold off for nearly an hour before you dove at your phone.

No sooner had you picked up it did a car rumbled up the path behind you. Your heart skipped a beat and a smile spread across your face until you realized it wasn't Benny's. A shiny black Impala lumbered up the beaten path and pulled to a stop just behind where you were parked. Foolishly you realized you weren't even armed should whomever this was choose to attack.

“Y/N?” the guy called as he opened the door and stepped out. His voice rang a few familiar notes and you struggled to place it.

“Dean?” you asked after a pause, trying to put a name to a face. You'd spoke to Dean on the phone once or twice in your time with Benny, but you'd never met him in person.

“Yeah, it's me...” he says walking towards you. His expression is completely blank and in his hand was an envelope.

“What's going on? Where's Benny?” you ask, trying to keep the panic from slipping into your voice as you walked towards him.

“He uh... he asked me to give you this” Dean said as he awkwardly handed you the envelope. He stuffed his hands back into his coat pockets and looked at you with a pained expression.

With shaky hands you rip open the envelope and pull out the piece of paper, unfolding it and feeling your heart sink as you recognize Benny's handwriting.

 

“ _Y/N,_

 

_I suppose it's obvious that it ain't me delivering this letter to you. If you're reading this then it means that Dean kept his word. Please try to not be hard on him, this ain't his fault._

 

_I'm lost up here, Sug. I'm not a good fit and this last month has made me see just how clear that is. I never fit in with the other vampires, this much I know. I never found my place back among the humans either, though I really tried._

_And then I met you. You brought out a human side of me that I didn't think existed... even when I was human. You helped me to see that we all had a past and regardless of what was behind us, we were still able to shape what was in front of us..._

_But for someone like me it was hard, Cher. I tried and I tried to be human, but that's just something I ain't anymore. Every time I needed to feed I was reminded of that. Brought back down to the reality I fought so hard to hide and get away from._

_You deserve better than me, Y/N. You deserve someone who can give you all the things I can't, and I won't be the one to stop you from that. It's been wearing on me since the day you left and you deserve better than little old me._

_I want you to know that you brought a ray of sunshine onto my gloomiest days. You gave me something I ain't had in a long time, and that was hope. I loved you more than anything in this waking world and ain't nothing ever going to change that._

_You take care of yourself, Y/N. You go on and marry someone great who can give you the world with a bow on it. You find yourself someone who deserves ever inch of perfection you are and treats you like a treasure._

_Don't you give a second thought to old Benny again, you hear me? Our time together will be in my happiest memories where ever I may end up and your kiss shall keep me warm no matter how cold I am._

_You'll always be in my heart, Y/N. All my love to you in this life and whatever I should find after it,_

_Benny”_

The world began to tilt sideways and you were hardly aware of Dean's hands reaching out to stop you from falling. Your chest felt so tight that you were hardly able to breathe and the tears that streamed down your face spattered the ground around you.

Dean pulled you close and let you cry, stroking your hair and whispering words that merely fell upon your deaf ears.

He was gone. Benny was gone.

You didn't care how foolish the thought was or how reckless, but suddenly you found yourself wishing the vampires had finished you off all those months ago. Whatever pain, or torture or anguish they could have inflicted upon you, surely it would not have come even close to this... To the pain of losing him.

 

 


End file.
